Sports day


July 9, 2012 by talkaboutyork


Today was sports day, the last my children will have at their current school. It had already been postponed once due to the lamentable British summer and looked close to being called off again today. But the bulldog spirit shone through and the children ran in the rain.

There was the normal cheating in the egg and spoon and a few slips on the start line due to a muddy pitch, flying hats and scarves in the dress up race and utter confusion in the Atlanta race. But the highlight was the obstacle race, with the final obstacle being skipping to the end of the track using a skipping rope.

It very quickly became apparent that girls can skip. Boys can’t. While the girls sailed along, skipping merrily without a care in the world, the boys managed to tie themselves in knots. Two boys – yes, just two (one being one of my sons – proud mother emoticon) actually managed to skip forwards. The rest all somehow threw the rope backwards over their shoulders, tripping themselves up as they pulled it forwards under their feet. I probably shouldn’t have laughed quite as loudly as I did, but it was comedy.

Then it got me thinking about the difference between the sexes and wondered what other races the normally dominant male species (sportswise that is) would fail woefully at. That’s when I had the idea – a brand new concept for the dads race at school.

Instead of a flat out sprint, they should invent a dad’s obstacle course consisting of:

– taking an empty loo roll off a loo roll holder and putting in a bin

– hanging a towel on a towel rack

– putting a loo seat down

– moving dirty dishes from the top of a dishwasher to inside the dishwasher

– and finally, relinquishing the TV remote control in a relay-style pass to a waiting wife

I reckon the odds of them completing it successfully are about as good as the odds of getting boys to use a skipping rope without tying their arses to their elbows. And just as much comedy value. I think I’m onto something. I may suggest it to the new school….



3 thoughts on “Sports day

  1. haha….

    our sports day here was totally non-competitive. They were in teams, but no-one seemed to care or be counting which team won. I found this rather bizarre – surely you have to have some incentive!

    • There is a lot of ‘it’s all just for fun and it doesn’t matter who wins’ going around. But it obviously matters to the parents screaming their heads off and then smiling politely at each other afterwards saying: as long as they’re having fun while secretly thinking: little johnnie is going down next year. We are going into training….

  2. […] forgive him for a) being Scottish and b) being a grumpy arse. Then we had the heady excitement of sports day on Monday, but despite the highs of the hilarious skipping race, that was simply an amuse-bouche […]

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