I have become that mum


June 28, 2013 by talkaboutyork

I know that a great deal has been written about this across the blogosphere. It’s not original. But I have to add my voice in a display of maternal solidarity.

I have become that mum.

The one who hasn’t ironed any uniforms. In fact doesn’t even know if there are any clean uniforms to be worn today.

The one who has only just managed to get the sports kit dry and into sports bags on time. Well some of it. No idea where the trainers are.

The one who is turning a blind eye to the green paint on the school trousers, the hems that have come out, the holes in the knees, the stained shirts that no amount of Vanish will remove. Because they only have to last one more week.

The one whose children are walking funny because their school shoes are too small but they just have to squeeze their feet into them….. for one more week. 

The one who has resorted to giving every one of the six children – whose birthday parties my children have been going to in the last two weeks in that pre-holiday birthday party frenzy that always happens – some money in a card instead of a wrapped gift (and the cards may be old Christmas cards that I can find in the study).

The one who signs the reading record with no idea whether the book has been read. And no interest in hearing it being read. Because I simply cannot muster the patience to listen. (I am not alone. I heard a mum reading her child’s book to her while they walked into school yesterday. I wanted to tap her on the shoulder and say: It’s ok. Just let it go.)

The one who stares at the slightly limp carrots and yellowing head of broccoli in the fridge before shutting the door and ordering the kids Chinese for dinner.

The one who gives her children left over Chinese for breakfast because she forgot to buy bread or milk.

The one who doesn’t ask the children to spend 15 minutes practicing their guitar when they come home from school and actually doesn’t really even know where the guitar is.

The one who doesn’t care if they spent 7 hours of their Sunday glued to an x-box.

The one who thinks that the kids having a bath once a week is good enough. If they start to smell, they can use some of dad’s deodorant.

The one who puts her exercise clothes on in the morning, only to discover she is still wearing them in the evening but hasn’t actually done any exercise.

The one who hasn’t managed to organise any ‘playdates’ for the holidays yet because right now there are too many end of term events to negotiate leaving no headspace for thinking that far ahead.

The one who has ‘forgotten’ to take the children to cricket practice for two weeks in a row because actually I can’t be arsed.

The one didn’t go watch the music recital because I fell asleep on my bed instead.

The one who has given up arguing about the kids going to bed at 8pm when it’s still broad daylight outside because they will soon be on holiday and can sleep then.

The one who has only just remembered that the cat needs a cattery for our impending holiday. Oh, and that we need a hotel and car parking at the airport. 

The one who has given up all hope of getting bikini body ready. It really was a bridge too far.

The one that now has exactly one week to complete the novel to meet the self imposed deadline. I don’t see it happening.

I am that mum. But I take comfort from the fact that mums just like me are in the majority around this time of year. Anyone still being a good parent is quite frankly a freak of nature.

So to all the mums out there who are sloping into mediocrity and neglectful parenting, take heart. You have the next six to eight weeks to wallow in sloth before you need to don the good mother cloak again. Enjoy!


8 thoughts on “I have become that mum

  1. jaynefranks says:

    Fantastic. It’s great to read something written by a real person. Wishing you a great break although this summers weather must be testing your wish of ‘getting used to going with out sunshine’ to the limits if Manchester is anything to go by today and yesterday and …and.. and . 🙂

  2. Potty Mummy says:

    I am shaking my fist in the solidarity sign… 😉

  3. I think we are all that mum at the end of term. Sensibly, teachers in America also seem to switch off in the final weeks, so they didn’t have any homework or reading. And the summer work packet? I suspect it won’t get done till the August bank holiday….

  4. barbedwords says:

    Excellent, totally agree. Imperfect mums of the world unite!

  5. […] like to think that I am a good mum, the last two weeks of school aside. Yet right now I feel as though I am getting it wrong. Somewhere along the way, the work ethic […]

  6. Love this! Its not just the kids who are flaked out and fed up of school (my eldest is desperate to finish and she’s a conscientious 9 yr old girl who fits the state school model, for goodness sake). I’m finding its most evenings now that I simply can’t be bothered to cook, when I’m normally a cook something decent every night kind of person. Don’t even bother with a list of meals for the week – how liberating is that?! And my son’s reading book – what’s that?!!

    It is always at this time of year that I want to start a campaign for 2 month summer holidays – but then I realise that all my working mum friends would kill me….how sad that our children have to lose out on proper long summer holidays, and enjoying the weather when it is actually sunny (always early July), because the govt insists we keep trawling through school.

    Fancy starting a campaign (if you can be arsed?!) Siobhan

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